How
to End a Relationship Before it Even Starts
What Not to do on the First Date
I often hear of singles who envision a first date as a way to interview
their dates instead of as a way to simply get to know and enjoy them. Needless
to say those who conduct the first date that way seldom end up on a second
date.
Why would this be?
Simply put, people want to be liked and wanted. People want warmth and
a person at the other side of the table who is exited about the potential
of the meeting. People seldom want to fit into someone else's rigid idea
of a perfect mate.
Yet the impulse behind first date interviews is understandable. Singles
who conduct first date interviews are trying to screen out people who
are not a good fit for them and are trying to select people who ARE a
good fit for them. This makes sense, but doesn't work exactly as planned.
Here is why.
If you interview someone on a first date, that person may become uncomfortable
and even resentful. He or she will likely hold back, and you will not
get to know the real person. You may succeed in screening out some potentially
unwanted behaviors or traits, but you may also miss out on great people
because of how the conversation is conducted.
You can certainly screen for traits that don't work for you in potential
partners, but you don't have to interview the potential partner to do
so. Simply being with the person in a relaxed atmosphere and talking about
life should give you enough information to know if that person is not
the one. The key is to trust your gut if you feel a person is not right
for you, without having to justify why you may feel that way.
On the other hand, if you end up leaving a relaxed first date unsure of
whether or not that person is a good fit, then congratulations -- you
did it exactly right. Any individual, no matter how simple they may seem,
cannot be measured by someone else's list of traits for the perfect mate.
We as human beings are far too complex to be reduced to a list.
Your Relationship Coach, Rinatta Paries
(c) Rinatta
Paries. Do you know how to attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to
build a fulfilling relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your
needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and
techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit
www.WhatItTakes.com where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free
weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!
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